Counselor - First time Day25 #100HappyDays
Trying something new is always me. But this first was jittery. I panic, feel dreadfully sad, anxiety attacks, mood swings so on. This has been on and off for quite sometime. It is little difficult to pinpoint exactly when it started. But I guess 4-5 years now when I started recognizing it. I remember spending endless hours in Samsung browsing through websites measuring my anxiety, searching for a reason behind it, searching online counselors or some android application with free counselors. Firstly seeking a counselor itself felt dreadful. To top it I can't go and meet someone, online gave a mid-ground for me. Browsed blogs, read real-experiences. When I got sane, I searched for ways to cope up when stuck.
Today is the first time I actually spoke to a real counselor, a physical person. Oh, don't worry I am perfectly fine. No attacks nothing. Just that when I was returning from Dr. Fushen Wang's lab, I saw people from CAPS sitting in Chapin Commons. I hadn't thought anything, I just went inside without second thoughts. I had no idea what was I going to talk. I saw with a counselor. He is a Jew. My attention lingered to his cap a few times. Then had a general talk. Nothing specific. I was moving between different topics - anxiety, multitasking, stress. It was good. Not that he told me anything. I am not sure, if it would materialize something in my life in future. He didn't give suggestions, or ways to cope. Nothing. Just listened patiently. Not sure how it felt. I think good. Then few people from my 2k16 batch came in commons, I got conscious. I wanted to go away. I think he understood. He asked if you wanted to fill a survey. I said a curt no. Then took few brochures and left. Felt bad for him. I hope he understood.
He told me something new, which I didn't know. It was nice.
"There are 3 ways by which a person or animal reacts to a situation - Fight, Flight and Freeze."
I think I fight and freeze. or Freeze. Don't know exactly. Something to ponder.
I think it was good. Happiness is taking one step towards self-healing. Thank you Sudeshna. I thank myself for taking this step.
Today is the first time I actually spoke to a real counselor, a physical person. Oh, don't worry I am perfectly fine. No attacks nothing. Just that when I was returning from Dr. Fushen Wang's lab, I saw people from CAPS sitting in Chapin Commons. I hadn't thought anything, I just went inside without second thoughts. I had no idea what was I going to talk. I saw with a counselor. He is a Jew. My attention lingered to his cap a few times. Then had a general talk. Nothing specific. I was moving between different topics - anxiety, multitasking, stress. It was good. Not that he told me anything. I am not sure, if it would materialize something in my life in future. He didn't give suggestions, or ways to cope. Nothing. Just listened patiently. Not sure how it felt. I think good. Then few people from my 2k16 batch came in commons, I got conscious. I wanted to go away. I think he understood. He asked if you wanted to fill a survey. I said a curt no. Then took few brochures and left. Felt bad for him. I hope he understood.
He told me something new, which I didn't know. It was nice.
"There are 3 ways by which a person or animal reacts to a situation - Fight, Flight and Freeze."
I think I fight and freeze. or Freeze. Don't know exactly. Something to ponder.
I think it was good. Happiness is taking one step towards self-healing. Thank you Sudeshna. I thank myself for taking this step.
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