Live Life

Probably one of the worst books I have read over time. I don't recommend it to anyone. Thankfully it was a short book of 250 pages around. I couldn't bear more anyway. It was published in July 1991 and I am reading it in December 2017 during my Masters in United States. I believe many things have changed since then. The pun and jokes comparing American life and Indian life have become commonplace. They didn't give me those laughs where it was intended. Also, really hated the English of Gopal. I know that poor Indian english was intentional but I didn't like reading it. It made reading little slow. These days, I don't think anyone talks in such poor english anyway. It is a

Nothing can be more satisfying than scraping through an assignment and finishing it before the deadline. So, this time it was using tensorflow and train MNSIT. MNSIT is a dataset which gives digits, 0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9. It is a classification problem in short. I always wanted to try tensorflow and finally here I am. As a person, most important thing while doing any task is having motivation to do it. I think it comes before interest. You do a lot of tasks without interest but finish it. Sometimes, you are interested but lack motivation and sometimes you are not very interested though you like to do your task. In this semester I had ample time to try different tasks. I am super interested in Vision topics and TensorFlow etc but somehow it took a backseat at this point in time. Time to gear up girl. Final exam is within a week. Cheers to my Computer Vision assignment. MNIST dataset

Trying something new is always me. But this first was jittery. I panic, feel dreadfully sad, anxiety attacks, mood swings so on. This has been on and off for quite sometime. It is little difficult to pinpoint exactly when it started. But I guess 4-5 years now when I started recognizing it. I remember spending endless hours in Samsung browsing through websites measuring my anxiety, searching for a reason behind it, searching online counselors or some android application with free counselors. Firstly seeking a counselor itself felt dreadful. To top it I can't go and meet someone, online gave a mid-ground for me. Browsed blogs, read real-experiences. When I got sane, I searched for ways to cope up when stuck. Today is the first time I actually spoke to a real counselor, a physical person. Oh, don't worry I am perfectly fine. No attacks nothing. Just that when I was returning from Dr. Fushen Wang's lab, I saw people from CAPS sitting in Chapin Commons. I hadn't thought a

Nothing beats dance for me. Form of dance doesn't matter. Hip-hop, Salsa, Classical, Bollywood, Bhangra, Garba, Dandiya, I am up and smiling till my ears :P. I may not be good at dancing but I enjoy dancing. I might look awkward or even laughable in few moves but I don't care. I love to learn. I love to improve.  Today was Salsa's turn. Basic steps. Loved it. My calf muscles and abs had good time pumping blood. :D Happiness is dancing. Always. Always. PS. I prefer always over forever. Picked up from "Fault in our Stars". My all-time favorite book and movie.

Melancholic, having mood swings every now and then. Why am I like this? Why is it that I get super excited sometimes and super depressed at times? There are times when I can think clearly. I can remember everything crystal clear. Sometimes even I get surprised how could I recollect that. And then there are days when I want to punish myself. I feel extremely sad depressed. My memory is at its worst. I just forget basic stuff like my student ID which I use it on a daily basis. Damn me. I wish I could be normal everyday. I know I am getting those mood swings again. Sometimes it is huge while sometimes it is mild. It feels like a lump of emotion accumulated at my heart or inside my body can't say exactly Then, I want it out. Sometimes it is easy when I cry it out or shout out or workout at my hardest. At times it is sooo difficult. It is like that vomiting sensation where you want to vomit but it doesn't come out. Feels uneasy the whole time till it comes out. I know I should fe

Happiness is reading Khaled Hosseini books. There are thousands of books: books from different genres, fiction non-fiction, intense light, tough-read light-read, literature-heavy knowledge-heavy. And then, there are books that melt your heart and bring out those hardened emotions lost in our auto-pilot mode. Books that have a strong story line, so beautifully written that you want to breeze through at some places and re-read at other, break to internalize the story or just read through your next plot twist, simple to read yet lots to ponder. Books which shout out "Simplicity". While Steve Jobs teaches us to "Keep it simple and stupid in the tech world, Khaled Hosseini teaches it in the fiction world. If you thought you are an idiot wasting emotions on a fiction then you are wrong my dear, those are your real empathy tears for people like Laila and Mariam in Afghanistan. Tears which wouldn't otherwise be shed. Historical fiction at its best. We watch or hear Taliba

We always talk about "Mind, Body and Spirit." They work in unison and balance each other. From past 2 months, I had been working only on my my body and perhaps over-exerting it to some extent. I have always wanted to be flexible, dance-flexible, gymnastics flexible. I always get compliments that you are flexible in my yoga classes, but I am not flexible enough. There is always that one dancer or one yogi in my yoga class who is stronger and bonelessly flexible. Finally, after 3 weeks of yoga and badminton and cardio, I meditate. It felt good. Simple guided meditation for 3 minutes and then 10 minutes of guided nature walk meditation. Just today I realize that there are three meditation groups to drop by, but alas this is my last semester. Anyway, I was fortunate enough to have a small talk with the lady with helped us in guided meditation. She was a therapist and has been practicing for 9 years. That instant I knew her experience would be valuable. She told me it takes tim

One hell of a book this was. As a person, I love to experiment things or try new hobbies or try the same hobby in different ways. Considering my nature, doing the same thing again is not me. But, "The Kite Runner" becomes an exception. I want to relive those emotions again. I cried, cringed, panicked, horrified, regretted along with Amir our protagonist in the book. Everything felt genuine. Had I been in his place, I think I would have done the same thing. Not very courageous enough at such young age I would carry my guilt and search for ways to be guilt-free. I was watching a movie through a book. First half of the book was a complete dejavu for me. It was actually scary in a way that how could I have known the written description of the scene even before I read it? Every scene I  felt as if I saw it before. I am not sure if anyone had a deja vu while reading any book. When Aamir jan and Hassan ran through the streets flying kites and caught the cut kites, I felt I was ru

Here goes probably my last painting at Stony Brook. Thank you Creative Arts group for bringing back my love for drawing and painting. Planning to continue after SBU. Hope it materializes. This time it was different. Drawing on a cotton tote bag. Texture was different. Well, idiot wasn't that obvious. Actually it needed to said. It was cloth. So it absorbs paint. This made painting a little more difficult. It took more time for each stroke than it would on a regular canvas. Henceforth, my estimate went wrong. I had just enough time to finish only one side of tote bag. Well, that was good enough. Thankfully, I was wise enough not to choose a miniature or detail oriented drawing. A simple funny quotation was what I chose. Hope my sister likes it. Planning to gift her in December when I meet her. Yippiee Already excited thinking about it. Now, coming down to my 2 hour experience. Firstly, a long long line. Shweta and myself were standing all the while wondering if we had a chance.

1984 <pause> probably the most disturbing book I have read so far. Yes, I finally concluded on the word disturbing, I was thinking for at least an hour or so to figure out the word to describe the emotions I felt after I read "The End". I was like really, is it really the end? did I miss some connotation? or is it like one of those complex English comprehensions in CAT or GMAT where I missed some hidden meaning or haven't I read properly. I saw at least 6% of book left. I turned the page, I saw Appendix, I kept reading, it was about the "The Newsweek", its vocabulary and so on. But I wasn't much interested. I waiting for at least some kind of author's note like the Agatha Christie book I read a few days back. But, no the book ends. I wanted a conclusion or some other ending at least. Alas, there were none. That's it, there were no second party at all. Big Brother, GoldStein, Inner Party everyone are the same. There was just one leader and one

A good novel to read about the horrors during the Nazi days. It is mostly based on 3 brave girls and an organization Covet Operations trying to fight the Nazi's. The protagonist, Lucie turning from an innocent small girl to a brave fighter and killer is definitely quite a read for a reader. Sabine, her agent friend says killing gets easier with every mission, so does the horror in the book for a reader. It feels outrageous that such an incident could even take place in history is unimaginable. Operation Zeitfall, thankfully fictional as written in Author's note was an horrific adventure. It is quite a read for someone who has never read about Nazi times. From the sufferings of the common man to the magnitude of Swastika, it perfectly portrays the atmosphere of Europe during WWII. The novel might feel dry at times when you wouldn't mind keeping the book and taking a break but also gripping at times when Lucie, Tilly and Sabine are captured in the laboratory. The letters fr

Happiness is feeling feeling scared, anxious, uneasy all while reading a book. Felt jitters and panic at many points when people kept dying in the book. Kept racking my brain trying to figure out who was the culprit? Who was the devil who kept killing everyone in the isolated soldier island? As a reader even I felt trapped similar to Vera in the island like a zoo animal. Late night 2 pm, skimming through the pages, reading in that same position, nervous anxious to find out the culprit. Everyone definitely read such a book at least once in their life. If not, it is time to experience it. Finally, the mystery ends with no clue who was the mastermind behind artistically following our nursery rhyme soldier. Police investigation account was in vain. Then, all thanks to Agatha Christie in unraveling the genius Justice Lawrence Wargrave. He talks to us from grave through his confession letter in a bottle set in ocean and then dies by a bullet through forehead. Though the first half of bo

A day well-spent at Recreation center in Stony Brook University. First time found basketball court empty and tried dribbling and baskets after a long long time. Then while returning there was some Jew's event where I played with clay and did some hand-painting :P. Lastly, my badminton practices still continues. I think my arms are getting stronger. Loving my fitness journey overall.

Happiness is painting with Acrylics. Me and Sreeja went to play badminton in the evening around 5pm. We were returning back after playing when we thought lets just check in case there are seats left. First time loved rains because many people didn't turn up. Yuhuuuuu.  Happiness is getting a seat in Paint night without registration. Paint nights generally get filled within minutes. Awesome day! To many more happy days ahead. :)

Finally a full energy dance at my almost last college party. It was wonderful. The DJ was energetic and played my all-time favorite Punjabi songs. I knew I looked shabby, but that's all I had for an Indian attire. This time when I am going to Hyderabad, I am definitely getting a pretty saree at any cost. Cheers to my shabby pictures in my most dull home wear kurta :( . Also cheers to dancing and more dancing in life. Yuhuuuuu yipieee.....  

Happiness is trying something new. Here are my first time at pumpkin carving - a Halloween special. Also painted a mask. Gues who's there? They are my flatmates, Lavanya and Shweta is fun time :).

Happiness is going on a trip/picnic to Long Island's very own Planting Fields Arboretum in Oyster Bay. It was organized by GWISE, Graduate Women in Science group. I went with Ankit to Mr. Coe's estate or Planting Fields Arboretum. Mr Coe lived in this estate around 1913. It is a huge garden with horticulture and plants. It felt like Cubbon Park of Bangalore in Long Island. It was a beautiful day with Fall colors in a Halloween season or the pumpkin season for me :P. I think pictures are a better way to describe my trip. Cheers to some awesome pictures we clicked.              

Happiness is trying something new. I graded midterm papers of an undergraduate Database class. It was fun. It was Tarun's work. I helped him out. I had to correct questions 4,5,6. They were ER diagram, SQL query and definition of theta join, equi-join  and natural join. It was total of 108 papers. Journey through first one-third was jittery. Got lost in their ER diagrams. After that got the hang of correcting the answers. Then exchanged papers with Shouvik, TA with databases. Also did totaling of remaining two-thirds. Over-all it was fun being on the other side of grading. A happy red pen holder correcting papers. Two-third set of mid-term papers